Ramblings of a Madman
by Sir Miles
Summary: Poor Rauru. He sits in the Sacred Realm all day, never doing anything... It must get pretty boring...
1. Part One

DISCLAIMER: Rauru's thoughts in this are completely mine. However, the earrings are not.  
  
NOTE: I started this because my brother and I always wondered where Link's earrings came from. The rest of it was added just to make it longer. –SM  
  
RAMBLINGS OF A MADMAN  
  
DAY 1  
  
Hello. My name is Rauru the Sage. You are my diary. Today, as I was sitting nonchalantly on my medallion pedestal, running my hands through the sacred water, you fell out of the blackness above me and hit me on the head. I picked you up and turned you over. You said 'diary' in big letters on your cover, which is purple. I decided that I would keep you and write in you everything that goes on around me. So, this is day one.  
I sat on my pedestal today.  
  
DAY 2  
  
I am still sitting on my pedestal. Nothing much has happened. The time goes by very slowly, I think, but I can't really tell, because there are no Gossip Stones in the Sacred Realm. That is where I live. I am supposed to be protecting the Triforce, but I don't really know where it is. I haven't seen it in ages, really.  
Nobody has ever tried to steal it, anyway.  
  
DAY 3  
  
My pedestal is very uncomfortable.  
  
DAY 4  
  
Today I made up a new game. I call it 'Jump'. You have to jump on the other medallion platforms in the order of the rainbow. It is pretty hard.  
The other platforms are empty. There are supposed to be five other sages, but they have not shown up yet. I wish they would get here. I am bored.  
  
DAY 5  
  
An amazing thing happened today! As I was jumping from the orange platform to the yellow one (mine), this little kid appeared out of nowhere. He was sleeping. Oh yeah, and there was some evil laughter coming from somewhere, too.  
I tried to talk to the kid, but he wouldn't wake up. He was holding this really big sword, though, so I took it from him so he wouldn't roll on it in his sleep. Now I am waiting until he wakes up.  
  
DAY 6  
  
He hasn't woken up yet. He looked pretty beat when he got here, so I guess he's just sleeping it all off. I'll try again later.  
  
DAY ?  
  
I lost count of what day it is. It is surprisingly entertaining to watch this kid sleep. He just lays there, all day...  
  
DAY RED  
  
As I don't remember what day it is, I decided just to call it whatever I want.  
Oh yeah, the kid's name is Link. I found it on a letter he had in his pocket. I also found 57 rupees and some nuts. The nuts tasted good.  
  
DAY OVHJKLVKHJ;GSAV  
  
Today a rubber duck and a pair of earrings fell out of the blackness above me. I put the rubber duck in the sacred water and watched it float around, until it fell off the edge of the waterfall. I tried to eat the earrings, but they tasted like shrimp, and I hate shrimp.  
  
DAY PIG LATIN  
  
The kid, Link, rolled over in his sleep today. I was starting to think he was dead. He seems to be getting bigger. It makes me wonder how long he has been here. 


	2. Part Two

RAMBLINGS OF A MADMAN PART TWO  
  
DAY RUBBER DUCK  
  
I have a problem. I have these earrings, but nowhere to put them. But there are Link's ears, just sitting there, attached to his head. But I cannot ask him if he wants me to put these earrings in his ears, because he is sleeping.  
I really, really want to, though.  
  
DAY EISENHOWER  
  
Trying to resist. Trying.  
  
DAY BUFFALO  
  
I have done it. I waited and waited for the right moment, then I tiptoed over to the kid, and WHAM! Easy as fractions, no cleanup necessary.  
I thought about taking the earrings off again and poking more holes, but I decided not to.  
  
DAY CHERRY  
  
Link is definitely getting bigger. I think he has been here for several years.  
  
DAY BUBBLES  
  
I decided to write a song today. It goes something like this:  
  
Ru- ru- rubber duck, Yellow, white, and green Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily Floating down the waterfall.  
  
I miss my rubber duck. I know not where it came from, nor where it went. I know only that I think, therefore I am.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 1 / 14:27:05  
  
Today a Gossip Stone fell out of the blackness above me. Now I can keep track of the time, and the day. So today is After Gossip Stone 1, at 14:27:05pm.  
It's funny, but knowing the time doesn't really make that much of a difference.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 19 / 03:51:34  
It turns out that time moves quite quickly here. What I thought was a day is actually much longer. This is very strange. I must be getting old.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 46 / 00:00:00  
  
I thought this would be a fun time to write, but it feels like any other.  
The kid is still sleeping. He looks more like a young man now. I did not notice it before, probably because his clothes grew with him. I wish my clothes grew with me. I have to keep letting out the waistband of my robe.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 50 / 16:20:11  
  
I noticed something interesting today. A rubber duck fell out of the blackness above me. On closer inspection, I realized it was my own true, rubber duck, the one I wrote the song for. This was odd, so I decided to experiment. I threw Link's hat into the sacred water and watched it float over the waterfall.  
I hope my guess is right.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 55 / 01:23:45  
  
Waiting. 


	3. Part Three

RAMBLINGS OF A MADMAN PART THREE  
  
DAY A.G.S. 64 / 05:55:55  
  
It came! Today Link's hat fell out of the blackness above me! My theory has proven correct – the blackness below the waterfall and the blackness above me are somehow connected.  
Now I must discover if I can somehow control this phenomenon.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 85 / 19:18:59  
  
A fairy appeared out of nowhere today. Or maybe I never noticed her before. She is sleeping, too.  
Things are pretty dead around here.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 113 / 11:26:12  
  
It is no good. I have tried and tried to get an ice cream sundae out of the blackness above me, but all I can manage is this useless golden medallion that spins.  
Tomorrow I will try for popcorn.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 114 / 22:04:35  
  
Failure.  
  
DAY A.G.S. 126 / 09:17:16  
  
An amazing thing happened today! This is the start of something interesting, I know it! Let me go back to the beginning.  
I was standing around on my platform when I got bored. So I started talking to the kid, just to pass the time. Well, I accidentally woke him up. Needless to say, he was pretty confused, so I decided to have some fun with him.  
After I pointed out to him that he was several years older (which he took quite well, considering), I spouted off some nonsense about saving the world. I don't really remember what I said – my short-term memory is very bad. But he drank it all up. So I sent him off with that sword he appeared with. I guess it'll be pretty lonely around here again, but I can live with that.  
Oh, yeah. And I gave him that annoying medallion, too.  
  
DAY "After Link Left" 1  
  
I have been trying to remember what I used to do to pass the time before Link came along, but I can't remember. I don't remember when I got here, or how I got here. I don't know why I am here. I don't know where I am going...  
I feel depressed.  
  
DAY "After Link Left" 4  
  
I threw my Gossip Stone into the blackness below me today. I decided it was looking at me funny. I never really trusted it, anyway.  
  
DAY "After Link Left" 15  
  
Today another strange book fell out of the blackness above me. It said "The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time Strategy Guide" on it, and it had several pictures of me inside. It made me wonder if I was a model in the past.  
  
DAY "After Link Left" 21  
  
Link actually came back today. Well, first this little green girl showed up out of nowhere. Then Link came down in this cool pillar of blue light. I scrunched up as small as I could to make myself invisible, so I saw the whole conversation. The little green girl (who's name is Saria) seemed to know the kid pretty well. They talked for a bit, and then she made a green medallion come out of the blackness above and gave it to him. Then he left in another blue pillar.  
I will have to ask Saria if she knows how to work the blacknesses.  
  
DAY "After Link Left the Second Time" 3  
  
Saria doesn't know. She doesn't really know much of anything. She says she grew up in the woods, but I don't think she made it very far vertically.  
I am teaching her how to play "Jump". It is much better with two people. 


	4. Part Four

RAMBLINGS OF A MADMAN PART FOUR  
  
DAY "After Link Left the Second Time" 25  
  
Saria has been telling me stories about her childhood. She is actually 172 years old! I don't really know what that means, but I'm pretty sure she looks good for her age.  
She says that the Sacred Realm is very interesting, but she just stands around like I do. I think the Kokiri forest sounds more exciting.  
  
DAY Saria's Story 1  
  
Today Saria told me about the time she wrestled a wild moblin into submission. It had sharp fangs and a foaming mouth, and it was 100 feet tall! It was very scary, at least until Saria gave it a haircut. Then it just looked like an ugly dog-pig.  
  
DAY Saria's Story 2  
  
Wow! Saria is so brave! Today she told me about the giant deku scrub that attacked her village one time. It ate two people (kokiri kids, she calls them), and she had to rip it open to get them out!  
The Kokiri Forest is much more interesting than the Sacred Realm. Nothing has come out of the blackness above me in forever, and even my rubber ducky is starting to get boring. I wish things would heat up around here.  
  
DAY BORING  
  
It's boring. Saria and I aren't speaking to each other, because I didn't believe her when she said she had known a giant, talking tree. I don't know why she would start lying to me, but I don't like it.  
  
DAY MEAN  
  
Now Saria is being mean. She told me to take a bath today, because I smell bad. I told her I had already taken a bath, so she asked me how long ago, and when I didn't remember, she got mad, and moved to another platform. She won't even play Jump with me.  
  
DAY I've got a new Buddy  
  
Today Link came back, which was good, because the tension was building to unbearable levels. With him came this big guy, whom Link calls Darunia. He's big and bulky, and very brown. In fact, if he were sitting down, I would probably think he was a rock. But he's a pretty nice guy, and he says that he can make fire.  
  
Hey, this is Link. I stole Rauru's diary real quick, so I could read it. Man, this guy is really messed up! I caught him singing to himself when I got here with Darunia, something about a rubber duck. And he keeps asking me if I know how to get popcorn. I don't like being mean or anything, but he definitely needs some help. Maybe a little fresh air, a whack to the head, or something. I don't know what he'll be like the next time I come back here. Uh oh! He's coming back from his bath (with the grossest yellow towel I have ever seen on!). Gotta go!  
  
DAY FIRE  
  
Darunia really can make fires! It's pretty cool. He said he got his powers from being a sage, and that I should have some too. I told him I did. I could make that weird, yellow medallion come out of the blackness above me. I told him I had given it to Link, to get rid of it and make room up in the blackness for ice cream. I don't think that's what he meant, though.  
  
DAY S'MORES  
  
Darunia and I have been bonding today. I showed him my rubber duck, and he told me how to make s'mores. We would have made some, but we couldn't get any chocolate. The blackness kept sending us coffee instead. So we just had this bonding ceremony, in which we called each other "Sworn Brother" and hit each other on the back a bit. It was fun, but Saria didn't really want to join us.  
  
DAY DANCE PARTY  
  
I found out today that Saria has this really cool ocarina that she can play, and Darunia loves to dance to her song, so we had a dance party. Man, it was great! The big guy was jumping around everywhere, and Saria looked happy for the first time in days! I wish things could be perfect like this forever. 


End file.
